The feeling of death

How do you feel 1 min before your death. What happens after you cross over to death.

What happens? Will your consciousness stop too ? Where would my mind be ? Where is this soul call Yen gonna go ?

What is it ?

We probably would drag ourselves 60-80 years in planet earth and live an earthling life. But what happens after that ? So what ?

Its very scary yet exciting.

scary because we do not know. We just do not know.

Exciting.. because what if the soul doesnt die.

The feeling of 1980 sadness

Do you how does it feel to be sad in 1980s ?

its a 1980's nostalgia that sticks mildly on your mind.

Mildly sadly. Its a sadness that you can enjoy.

And a sadness that leaves u unfigurable.

1980s sadness. thanks.

What is the meaning of my life

The more i chase this meaning of my life the more i cannot find it

why some people can have such a clear meaning of life

some just do not need one and can be really carefree and happy

and some are like me being just so frustrated needing to find one

meaning of life.

i think i used to have one. but now i am not sure anymore.

maybe i am not suppose to have one the older i get

I am going to be 30. There are suddenly more questions that comes to me

for me to find an answer to them.

I look at my sad work life. And also my sad self.

I think perhaps i need a change to revamp this before i start to hate myself for wasting life away like that

I am just caught. I am unable to release myself until i find a so call answer.

or perhaps this answer will be devalidated sometime again in the future.

Transient. phuck.. its transient.

I have no answer. And i have nothing that i want to say .

All right are wrong all wrong are right. The middle way.

Smile

Smile

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by... If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you'll just...
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just... Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by... If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just Smile...
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just Smile

Sometimes i wish they belong to me

She is Nane. 6 years old. Intelligent. And i love her so .

Playing with the kids with Sky. I feel fortunate to be with them even for only a short time.

Ming Ming and sister Por Piang . They have grown into active kids. Loveable. Joy to see them grow.

And sometmes i wish they are mine. So that i can see them grow and become the cutest princess.

but sometimes i know.. it is ok to appreciate them for who they are and where they come from.

I stand aside and lock them into my memory. I walk the fields and see what they see and what they breath. I feel happy for them as they have the kind of life i always want to live like.

I can only imagine for now.

And sorry for not able to understand what they always mumble to me about. The guilt of not being able to answer them makes me want to learn this language faster.

I can only work harder from now...

Good times are locked in a picture of joy.

Meet up with a good friend - Sathit @ Thaton

His house is nothing more than a run down wooden house but he gave me the best. This mosquito net that is put up just for me is just amazing. Sleeping in it kept me feeling safe and sound. One of the best sleepovers ever.

Thaton is a small little town at the border of Chiang Rai province. My friend Sathit is a teacher at Thaton. Sathit is from southern thailand but has fall in love with north thailand like me. His respect for his culture and people and his openness in his mind and heart has touch the dusted soul of mine.

His motto is " Simple Living , High Thinking "

I wish i am able to settle my mind just like that too.

Great friend from the most secluded place.

Songkran - Water Festival ( different time, same joy )

Recently in Chiang Mai ( in the month of July) yet i caught these pictures at the busiest street in Chiang Mai. Pure Bliss to see hundreds of people enjoying themselves at thisSongkran Water Festival which is suppose to only take place in April.

It happened that these scenes are part of a foreign movie shoot. I am honoured to be able to capture these moments. The festival may not be at the right time for real but the joy of playing with the water is genuine. Happiness is across everyone's faces and hearts. And mine too.

Just if everyday is Songkran.

Khao Ka Mu

Recently in ChiangMai. Tasted once again the best Khao Ka Mu ( Rice with braised pig trotter with Egg ) in my LIFE.

This is just a simple dish for the thais and yet it is just amazing to taste this in your mouth .

Imagine the nicely boiled egg yolk with the rice soaked in the right proportion of the braised gravy. I have to say that this is really down right delicious.

I wish this picture tells it all.