What is the meaning of my life

The more i chase this meaning of my life the more i cannot find it

why some people can have such a clear meaning of life

some just do not need one and can be really carefree and happy

and some are like me being just so frustrated needing to find one

meaning of life.

i think i used to have one. but now i am not sure anymore.

maybe i am not suppose to have one the older i get

I am going to be 30. There are suddenly more questions that comes to me

for me to find an answer to them.

I look at my sad work life. And also my sad self.

I think perhaps i need a change to revamp this before i start to hate myself for wasting life away like that

I am just caught. I am unable to release myself until i find a so call answer.

or perhaps this answer will be devalidated sometime again in the future.

Transient. phuck.. its transient.

I have no answer. And i have nothing that i want to say .

All right are wrong all wrong are right. The middle way.