Lunching with myself

1:15pm. Control-Alt-Delete. Say hi to my colleagues and bye I am off to a long awaited lunch place. National University of Singapore, Arts Canteen. Been a while since I was last here. Once I got down the shuttle bus I am greeted by non-stop flow of NUS kids. It is hard to imagine I was once like them for four years.

I took the lift at the old admin building to fourth floor. In the same lift carries me and two other NUS girls. Not so pretty but definitely NUS-ish. Roll my eye ball. Luckily it was for a short while listening to their hollow conversation. After the lift there is a long walk of fame leading to the arts canteen. This is really the walk of fame for many students. From point A to point B it is like a red carpet walk for some. Stopping every other step to say hi to a friend and start exchanging totally dump questions nonchalantly. “ Just finish tutorial ah ? “ or “ Hey what modules u taking ?” , amongst many other totally ridiculous questions. If you were once a rebel student there you will know what I mean. Imagine it is one month to exams and you still dare to ask “ Hey you bought that XXX textbook already ? “ .

I walked straight faced down this hall of fame. Never was I a celebrity in arts coz I was suppose to eat in engineering canteen just across the street. But my eyes are working harder than my heart muscles. Screening thru every lady that walked pass me, both towards and away from me. There was this girl who tried to give me a slanted eye when I was looking at her. Totally accepted the myth that she is the prettiest of all on earth. A lot of girls in NUS are like that. They think they are just one up. Beauty and brains. Usually they are wrong in both cases.

Well I must say it is a very busy time for my eyes. The dressing is getting more and more revealing. SHORT SKIRTS. God damn short can. If they bend down probably you will not see any underwear. Vacumm or the most G strings. FLowy short skirts. Those that when you walk it will bounce up a little at the back. Just before it hits the underwear line or cellulite which ever comes first it will start to fall back. God I am just wasting time pushing my luck. Oh well… so skirts are the in thing.

I ordered Indian food. Indians are the only people who will call u ‘brother’ even if you don’t know them. So I told my new found brother what I wanted and paid happily for the big plate of nasi Briyani. The most important part of the lunch comes after buying the food. It is WHERE you sit that is of utmost urgency. Today I choose to build nest at this table which in front of my 2 metres away sits a girl facing me wearing yellow shirt. Tight. With a god grace C cup.

SO near yet so far. But for sure you know underneath that C cup is a D cup full of fats. One hand not enough. So my lunch was mostly fats. Or more elegantly ice cream.

Many many different kind of girls exist in this very glamours arts canteen. The bricks of the canteen haven’t change a single bit. It is what is housed that changed. Culture, attitude, values.

I used to sit in the canteen almost everyday during school term to look at the crowd. Most popular you can see a group of girls coming from the same lecture for lunch. Holding on to their files frantically try to get seats. Funnily the pretty ones lump together to form a group. Not so pretty ones usually eat with not so pretty ones. So you have all the best in a girl. Nice shirt, dress with nice bra and undies. Nice hand phone, Best cosmetics, nice Prada bag and G’earth foolscap pad sitting down in arts canteen. Some eat only fruits for lunch. Of course no matter how glam you want yourself to look in the end it is still what you eat that makes you a true blue Singaporean. “ Auntie, Laksa, Mi Fen, Bu hao Ham “

Guys on the other hand have a better mixture of who they are with. Usually either all guys or a good mixture and of course BUAYAs who eat EXCLUSIVELY with one one girl from his new tutorial class. Look around carefully you will see them populating the seats beside the cliff. Green tables of the arts canteen. Just by observing their conversation you will be well amused and see thru the real face of a man. WOLF!!!!

Chop chop … Finish my lunch, molested about 100 girls with my eyes and off I went to get my cup of fruit juice. A must get at arts canteen. Mango Strawberry. One of the best combination. And of course going along with that is a galore of pretty girls with revealing clothes. One caught my eye when I was lining up. She was wearing a bare shoulder dress. Half of her back can be seen. Short skirt of course. God I wonder how much cosmetics she has on her face. You mean you need mascara to get a first class degree?

Not much time left after the long queue. Stroll down to the Forum where the Malay Tudung girls populate the hugh steps of the Forum discussing seemingly the same thing ever since I have been here 6 yeas ago. Same kind of things they discuss in the same kind of manner. So maybe besides the bricks we have found something that has not change. The Tudung Girls. Loners.. yes I left them out. Some of them like to sit like a Guan Ying on the steps seemingly reading their book. I dunno how many of them graduated as first class honours this way. Still a myth.

NUS coop has really transformed. Now it is like a good MPH. But one thing I wish that will not change is the cashier aunties. I know them well and they recognize me.

Well time to be back to office again. Refeshed. With my cup of fruit juice in hand I hopped on the shuttle bus leaving this place that I know for sure has so much history and more to be made in just the way we would not like it to go.

Life is about Me Me Me

So today I think I want to make a very common entry here. Something about the day and day outs of my working life and maybe life after work.

So what has happen to my life so far. Life story ... lalalala story... . Work first. So finally I begin to hate one of my colleague. Hate Hate Hate. Because this colleague has violated my penal code of basic human 'being' . I have to control myself so that I still have an over all positive energy. Perhaps one day something bad will happen to her. Like she get dumped by a guy she likes or something as part of her retribution. Hate Hate Hate.

Well moving on I have just got a new handphone. Finally. This is so Singaporean I know. But I think this is something to be happy about. I have yet to explore the phone. I hope that I can slowly explore it so I can enjoy it for a longer time. So time to snap some pictures with the new phone. kekekeke

Yesterday I just completed my last tuition session with my kids before their final exam. Well I think somehow I hope that they will do well. I think this is the quality of a good teacher. Some kind of bonding must be there. If not it is so transactional. I think I may be their long term teacher. So this should be a long term tuition thing. These two kids make some darn funny remarks sometimes. So I am sometimes rewarded by some very interesting perspective from a kid's point of view.

It is going to be year end. Well 2005.. i was thinking actually this should be a year that i made some pretty ok progress. In terms of my career as well as personal development. I think I did spend some good time developing my magic skills. And also spend sometime trimming and fitting my finances. More stable ( even thought it is not a priority to me) , but good for me.

Lets see how i will think about this passage when it is december 2005. Maybe i will have a totally different point of view.

I am going to be 26 next year. The beginning of old age. At this point in time I hope that i will step into 26 yr old in a very fashionable way.

Cinderella Man

Just watched the movie Cinderella Man. Perhaps many might pass it off as a block buster just because it has two big stars and it is a boxing ring setting show. I would appreciate it otherwise. Yes it has Russell and Renee as the main pillars holding up the movie. Acting is just about on par with their pay. Nothing to shout about. But I would like to appraise the story writter for highlighting the essence of the show.

Scenes from this movie includes James ( Russell) bringing one of his kids to the butcher shop to return a piece of meat that the kid stole. On the way back home the father and son had a talk. It is a simple but yet sincere talk that we should not steal no matter how bad the situation is. Teaching the correct values from young and mean it as it is. I cross examine this with the society that i am living in now and found vast differences. Parents talk more about achieving good results and inculcating unhealthy comparisons to their kids. Anyway .. another essence that moved me is the conviction James has towards his family and friends. What he fought for in the ring. The reason for being in the ring that made him surpass even the toughest oppenent. I find that maybe in our times now it is much harder for one to fight for something or live for something base on pure simple conviction. We lived for propably the wrong reasons so called even though we may know that those are wrong priorities in the first place.

So i tell myself. Do i work for a pay check or do i work coz i would like to spend time with my love one in the place of our own. I seriously think that a lot of people have worked for the wrong aims constantly and worse still, knowingly.

Setting of the this movie is around the 1930's in New York. Just the setting alone makes the movie easy to digest. It also has some historical value as it brought me back to the simplicity of life back then. No handphones, no internet. Life was about bring bread home and maintaining a family with conviction.

i think i would like to inject a lttle bit of 1930's to my life. And i think i might have already done so. Why am i even blogging ...

Audition Day plus one

So here i am on a sunday morning on Johor Bahru. Home. Shattered dreams. No more super host coz i didn't make it. After i saw the three red cards went up on me my body just automatically wanted to follow thru the motion. i said thank you politely and left. I didn't even want to stay around not because that i feel embarrass but more of i need to just do something else to keep myself from blaming myself.

So i was walking blindly and blankly for a while in orchard. Inside my bag lies a fully filled up application form and ten dollars which i have not paid up for for the application. Is this a consolation for me ? Is this what depict the "Sun" card that i drew from my tarot deck in the morning ? If i try to rationalized at that moment i guess it can be. But now i think it may just be true as my mind do not have to be bothered by all the factors that i have been bothered anymore. things like whether hosting, or limelight will be a good gamble for me. for now at least i am not bothered by this hosting event. but i feel that i will explore other ways to live my life to the fullest. perhaps i am better off not being on television because i will be disliked. perhaps i am more suited for shows in other formats like live shows or live hosting in smaller events etc etc. in short i think it is just much better than hanging me there and knowing that i will be axed for my not up to standard looks and body size.

I went to the Asian Civilisation Museum after a long long walk, because i went to the wrong museum (singapore history museum). It was the last two days of which the exhibits from the Vatican City would be displayed there. After i smuggled myself in without paying i was awed by the quality of the exihibit. After all the good museums that i have visited in the states , finally a decent museum in Singapore. Finally. So i am delighted.

I went thru the rounds. Finding myself lost in the world of history. Somehow i felt in touch with myself again. I sat down in the bench in the vatican room of display beside a portrait probably more than 500 years old. I was thinking that that was a very special thing. A room full of people looking and staring at the old artefacts firstly not knowing their background but trying to look as if they understand it. Old and new people from many walks some are even transversites. The picture is 500 year old yet it looked so stunning. We the lookers are less than a decade old yet so shagged and frail. I looked at the chair that one of the older popes has sat on and used before. I wonder what was around this chair back then. What did the chair see and what did it hear. I saw a chip on the chair and i wonder was it the pope who accidentally chipped it.

Suddenly i felt one piece again.

I walked out of the museum and got a phone call from my impatient girl friend who wants to see me impatiently. So i impatiently walked to the MR T and found her folded handedly waiting for me. I felt many pieces again.

Audition Day minus one

Tomorrow will be my audition for a hosting competition. Is that why my feet is sweating like hell ? God. Likely not. Just interested to know how tomorrow will turn out. Feel like fast forwarding my life and see what I will be like on 31st March 2006. A host or a hoax ?

Am I really for this industry ? This I would say I feel that I have the quality but maybe not conventional enough for masses to accept. Coz of looks and style perhaps.

But nevertheless I will give it my best tomorrow and play by it. Life is a game. Select the one you like to play most.